Conventional Logic Vs. Religious Logic (Comic)

We would have also accepted...
1. This bread and wine turns into a baseball when you eat it.
2. The baseball is actually 3 baseballs, all different but all 1 and the same.
3. This baseball died for your sins.
4. This baseball wants you to give me lots of money.
5. If I touch you with this baseball you won't have cancer anymore... also give me lots of money... just in case.
6. If you don't believe I have a baseball you will go to hell, but the baseball still loves you.
7. If you believe anybody else has a baseball just like mine you are definitely going to hell.
8. If you deny the holy spirit part of my baseball you can NEVER be forgiven and are SUPER DEFINITELY going to hell.
9. This baseball doesn't want you to tell the police what the priest did to you.
10. The baseball hates fags.
11. The baseball hates liberals.

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Best school name ever?

This had to be intentional on someones part, I googled and searched wikipedia for a Pansy Kidd with no results beyond the middle school itself... unless the person who got a school named after them is just that obscure.

Oh nvm I found it on the school's website they should have included her middle name: "The name of our school originated back in the early nineteen hundreds. In 1912 a lady named Pansy Ingle Kidd came to Poteau. She was a graduate of Indiana University with a Masters' Degree in English and Library Science. Pansy Ingle became a third grade teacher until 1915 when she married Frank Kidd. Since a regulation of the 1915 school board was not to hire married female teachers, she had to quit teaching. Pansy did not teach again until 1921 when the regulation was finally changed. For 40 years she taught with all her heart, and was called by many, "Dean of Poteau's Teachers." Mrs. Kidd taught whatever her superintendent needed her to teach. During her tenure she was a teacher of Science, Math, and English, Librarian, Counselor, and Principal. She organized the beginning of the Junior High School. This same school was later named in honor of Mrs. Kidd. Pansy Kidd taught for 42 years, and retired in 1960. She lived in Poteau until her death in 1978. Our school is indeed proud to be named for such an outstanding educator."

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"Friends With Benefits": The Chart

I had to comment on this one because I think represents something in our culture. Why are we so risk adverse? It seems everything we do in this country (writing from USA) is attempted to be done without any risk of hurt to oneself. What are people thinking? "Wow! I can have lots and lots of superficial relationships and have all the sex I want without ever feeling rejected!"?

I have witnessed this mentality both when in college and now among my peers in the workforce. I think one book, the Paradox of Choice (why more is less), described its roots lucidly. The author's tests showed that people only wanted to make choices that had the most limited effect on their future choices. That, as our opportunities in life have abounded, we've become less willing to commit to any one of them because we aren't determined enough about any one choice to consider it the "best" and worth rejecting the other ones for. Freedom can be debilitating if you don't have the wisdom to know what to do with it... (so can externalizations of happiness -- that it is supposed to be presented to you in the form of some perfect partner instead of created by you with whichever partners you end up with in life.)

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Can you guess which of these quotes belong to Ex-president, George W. Bush, and which belong to Batman? It's harder than you think...

Can you guess which of these quotes — provided by Philadelphia sketch group, Secret Pants — belong to ex-president, George W. Bush, and which belong to Batman from his 1960s TV series?



"The Constitution is the cornerstone of our great nation. We must abide by it."

-- Batman

p/s The batman ones actually sounded more like what a president would say.

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TURN AROUND TURN AROUND OH MY GOD IT'S TOO LATE.

"That guy" pulls off the psychopathic look better than most actors O-o
The look in that kids eyes isnt desire or awe, its like i'm watching invasion of the body snatchers again, an emotionless yet evil stare

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Fail Grades In The Exam But A's For Creativity

After I was accepted to college I pulled a fast one on my AP-English course. I thought I did, anyway. We had to write about literary works and how they influenced societies, so I went on a limb.

I took Tolkien's society and broke it down as a modern day interview, expressing and focusing on how the hobbits hated him, the trolls, wizards, elves, etc. all dispised him for exposing their lives from a biased point of view and went on to explain it from "their" point of view. I flipped good and evil, basically. Try to imagine the book but with the characters and the fight inverted, and summed up on 10 pages.

I thought I was going to get an F for sure. Fucking bitch gave me an A+ and sent it into somewhere and I got an award.

I stopped believing in school that day.

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Girls are becoming as good as boys at math

TRADITION has it that boys are good at counting and girls are good at reading. So much so that Mattel once produced a talking Barbie doll whose stock of phrases included “Math class is tough!”

Although much is made of differences between the brains of adult males and females, the sources of these differences are a matter of controversy. Some people put forward cultural explanations and note, for example, that when girls are taught separately from boys they often do better in subjects such as maths than if classes are mixed. Others claim that the differences are rooted in biology, are there from birth, and exist because girls' and boys' brains have evolved to handle information in different ways.

Luigi Guiso of the European University Institute in Florence and his colleagues have just published the results of a study which suggests that culture explains most of the difference in maths, at least. In this week's Science, they show that the gap in mathematics scores between boys and girls virtually disappears in countries with high levels of sexual equality, though the reading gap remains.

Dr Guiso took data from the 2003 OECD Programme for International Student Assessment. Some 276,000 15-year-olds from 40 countries sat the same maths and reading tests. The researchers compared the results, by country, with each other and with a number of different measures of social sexual equality. One measure was the World Economic Forum's gender-gap index, which reflects economic and political opportunities, education and well-being for women. Another was based on an index of cultural attitudes towards women. A third was the rate of female economic activity in a country, and the fourth measure looked at women's political participation.

On average, girls' maths scores were, as expected, lower than those of boys. However, the gap was largest in countries with the least equality between the sexes (by any score), such as Turkey. It vanished in countries such as Norway and Sweden, where the sexes are more or less on a par with one another. The researchers also did some additional statistical checks to ensure the correlation was material, and not generated by another, third variable that is correlated with sexual equality, such as GDP per person. They say their data therefore show that improvements in maths scores are related not to economic development, but directly to improvements in the social position of women.

The one mathematical gap that did not disappear was the differences between girls and boys in geometry. This seems to have no relation to sexual equality, and may allow men to cling on to their famed claim to be better at navigating than women are. However, the gap in reading scores not only remained, but got bigger as the sexes became more equal. Average reading scores were higher for girls than for boys in all countries. But in more equal societies, not only were the girls as good at maths as the boys, their advantage in reading had increased.

This suggests an interesting paradox. At first sight, girls' rise to mathematical equality suggests they should be invading maths-heavy professions such as engineering—and that if they are not, the implication might be that prejudice is keeping them out. However, as David Ricardo observed almost 200 years ago, economic optimisation is about comparative advantage. The rise in female reading scores alongside their maths scores suggests that female comparative advantage in this area has not changed. According to Paola Sapienza, a professor of finance at the Kellogg School of Management in Illinois who is one of the paper's authors, that is just what has happened. Other studies of gifted girls, she says, show that even though the girls had the ability, fewer than expected ended up reading maths and sciences at university. Instead, they went on to be become successful in areas such as law.

In other words, girls may acquire an absolute advantage over boys as a result of equal treatment. This is something that society, more broadly, has not yet taken on board. Mattel may wish to take note that among Teen Talk Barbie's 270 phrases concerning shopping, parties and clothes, at least one might usefully have been, “Dostoevsky rocks!”

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How to Sell Your Body Parts For Cash?

Somehow a stimulus check just doesn’t seem stimulating enough to jumpstart my flatlining bank account. I’m thinking I need to make a little extra dough on the side before I can start feeding any to our flagging economy, but I don’t have any skills. I’ve thought about growing vegetables, building furniture, or washing windows to pad my pockets, but I don’t have a garden, I’m useless with a hammer, and … well, I don’t want to work that hard. So instead I’m looking to make the most (money) using what I’ve got at my fingertips. After doing a little research, here are the resources I discovered, some of which I never even knew were valuable:

Hairy Business

Real hair is in huge demand for use as hair extensions, hairpieces, and wigs. So, if (like me) you can’t grow weeds, but you can grow a mean head of hair, then check out the world’s largest independent hair sale site, Hairtrader. Now, you can’t just sell any old head of hair: hair must be naturally beautiful—that means it’s never been bleached, permed, tinted, highlighted, chemically straightened, or otherwise subjected to the demands of modern life. That rules out me and most of the western world too. To date, the record sale was $2,500 for 25” of light brown hair. (Photo source: Shevy wigs)

Pissing Away Poverty
If your urine is drug and alcohol-free, you might be able to strike (liquid) gold.

Thanks to the scads of people addicted to drugs and alcohol, there’s a market for good, clean urine to help people ace their drug test. Granted, you could go to jail for selling your pee, but as someone wise and famous once said (probably someone who never attempted to sell their urine), without risk, there is no reward. Urea Sample sells synthetic urine kits to folks looking to beat drug tests for up to $139.95. If you cut out the middle man and go straight to the source, you can make around $200, according to arrest reports.

If risk is your thing and potential jail time isn’t too daunting, you could also consider selling your corneas, worth roughly $7000. Or if your pee isn’t pure, you can always just take it to the next level and opt to sell a kidney.

It’s Written All Over Your Face (and Neck, Biceps, and Back)
The advertising industry is desperate to find clever new ways to reach people. They’ve already placed ads at eye level on the back of the bathroom stall door, in school buses, on your favorite TV show, your laptop, iPod, and in video games. Now they’re eager to score new real estate—you! In 2006, Web-hosting company Globat purchased ad space on the back of a Lancaster, Pennsylvania man’s neck for an undisclosed sum of money. Robert Reames, III, age twenty-seven, had a globat.com ad tattooed on the back of his neck so he could buy a new car. I’ve often said, “I have eyes on the back of my head,” so I’m thinking I should offer the back of my head to Lenscrafters …

Got Milk?
I’ve heard many a lactating mother cry that throwing away expressed breast milk feels like throwing away liquid gold—and they’re right. While there are plenty of banks where you can sell/donate breast milk (once you’ve been screened of course), there’s also a thriving black market of men—or couples—with a breast milk fetish. (Maybe I’m just lactose intolerant, but eew!) Still, I guess if guys can make money selling sperm, why can’t we put the old mammaries to work? Another way to go is to answer this classified ad: “Got Milk? Earn $2000 per photo shoot modeling for BeautifulPregnant.com, the only pregnancy/lactation site that has a touch of class.”

It’s a Bloody Jungle Out There
It’s actually illegal to sell human organs or tissues, but that doesn’t mean they’re entirely worthless. Many companies will “compensate” you for your time, and more specifically for your plasma—the water and protein-packed portion of your blood—which is easily replaced by the body. To find a donation site in your area, visit Blood Banker. Not only do they have a listing of blood banks that pay cash for your plasma, but they also list additional information about how often you can donate. Note: a donor burns about 650 calories by donating one pint of blood!

Let’s Get Clinical
No need to wait until you’re dead to donate your body to science. You can do so now, while you’re still alive and kicking, to the tune of several hundred dollars a day, depending on the study. Healthy as a horse? Great! You’re needed. You’re also needed if you smoke, have diabetes, are post-menopausal, have high blood pressure, suffer from insomnia, or have a history of depression. And if you hate drugs, but love shopping, there are clinical trials just for you. Even though drug studies are the most lucrative, research participants are also constantly needed for consumer product testing and mystery shopping sprees, where you can get paid to go to the movies, eat out, buy products, and even drink beer at pubs!

Womb for Rent
Why get $2500 or more for donating a little old egg (okay, it’s not so old, you need to be thirty-five or under) when you can get more than $25,000 for delivering a fully hatched chick? If you need more than a little extra cash, surrogate pregnancy may be the way to go. On top of the carrying fee, you get all your medical bills, travel expenses, and maternity clothes for free. (And then you can keep that really cute pair of “fat pants” for a future non-pregnant time when you’re feeling extra bloated.) For all those older couples wanting to have children, infertile couples, or two-dad families out there, you won’t be just putting your uterus on the market for some fast cash, you’ll be giving the gift of family. (photo source: sharynmorrow on flickr (CC)

Cry Me a River
If all else fails and you’re left with nothing of your own to sell, you can always look to Hollywood for a little assistance. If you’re especially enterprising, you can follow starlets around paparazzi-style, wait for the inevitable heartbreak, then capture their tears in a vial, and sell them on eBay like one enterprising young man did recently with Paris Hilton’s tears. It’s more of a long-term commitment, but you’d be getting in on the ground floor of something unique.

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How To Turn A Hot Chick Into A Geek

Getting a hot chick to go out with you is a difficult thing and countless books, websites and TV shows have covered the topic. So let's say you follow the advice to the letter and, shockingly, it works. Now you're a geek going out with a super hot chick and the two of you have absolutely zero in common. Let's change that; let's turn a Hot Chick Into a Geek.

The key to flipping any hot "square" into an uberhot geek is the Bridge Theory. When two land masses are separated (by water, by a canyon, whatever), the easiest way to bring them together is a bridge. Bridge Theory for flipping a hot square works the same way; most hot chicks CAN be turned geek if you know the proper "bridge."

For each geeky category, there are several bridges. Use the bridges and you will be able to increase the geek factor notch by notch. Forget the bridges and your hot chick will never, ever be interested in that subgenre of geekdom again. So don't have her sit through an all day marathon of "Red Dwarf" unprepared or she will never want to watch anything remotely Britcom or sci fi again.

Be careful, take your time and you'll have a model quoting "They Live" in no time.

Hot chicks normally like mainstream, multiplex flicks. This should be obvious; they contain good looking stars, which are people they can relate to. I'm not suggesting all hot chicks are shallow. Not at all. But just like how you enjoyed "Superbad" so much because you related to the fat and nerdy protagonists, hot chicks enjoy movies like "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" because they contain people like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

The key, then, to a cinematic bridge is to find a middle ground between geekiness and hot. The perfect "bridge" filmmaker, when it comes to genre flicks, is Quentin Tarantino. Every one of his flicks from "Pulp Fiction" onward have had the perfect balance of hot chicks and celebrities on one side and geeky genre film worship on the other. It's an added bonus that he writes so well for women, making his two part "Kill Bill" flick and his half of "Grindhouse" ("Death Proof") the perfect bridges between your hot chick and genres of cinema as diverse as martial arts flicks, slasher flicks and road movies.

Once your hot chick has seen good looking, intelligent female characters having fun in films that not only hint at other, older genre flicks but also out and out reference them, you're set. After checking out "Kill Bill," for example, you might as well show her "Shogun Assassins;" that 1980 film was the one the Bride's daughter as watching, after all. You could throw in some "Enter The Dragon," "Drunken Master" and any anime of your choosing for good measure. If you use the "bridge" and time it well, you'll have a super sexy Asian cinema fanatic in no time.

"Death Proof" is a shorter film than "Kill Bill" but it's possibly more potent with its genre film connections. If your lady digs Tarantino's "car slasher" flick starring Kurt Russell, she'll probably take a liking to flicks like "Escape from New York" and "Big Trouble in Little China." If she was able to handle the "thrills and chills," she might enjoy some legitimate slasher flicks, like "Halloween," "Last House on the Left" and "Friday the 13th." And in the probable scenario that your lady is turned on by the car's in the film, you're fuckin' in. You can not only parlay that into her interest in speed flicks (like "Vanishing Point," the original "Gone in 60 Seconds" and "The French Connection,") but you might be able to get her into racing video games too.

Don't push your luck TOO hard with this bridge, however. Just because she's starting to enjoy Asian movies doesn't mean she won't run away in terror if you put on the hentai porn (though if she sticks around, you and your tentacle monster are safe). Same goes for slasher flicks; she might enjoy "Halloween" but that doesn't mean she's ready for "Cannibal Holocaust." If you had the patience it takes to cultivate a hot chick, though, you should be fine.

Die Hard gaming girls do exist. Thanks to G4TV and Morgan Webb, we know this is true. Now, hot die hard gaming girls? Ones who ACTUALLY play video games (we're looking at YOU Olivia Munn)? That is a rare breed.

And while you might not be able to convert your hottie into a "true" die hard gamer, you should be able to get her pretty interested in video games. And for that, you can thank Nintendo and their its flagship title: the Wii.

Now, I am not suggesting it's time for you to ditch your PS3 and XBox 360 (and their superior graphics and, in many cases, gameplay) and dedicate your life to the Wii. That'd be pretty retarded. But the Wii is a perfect bridge system for hot chicks.

Now, the reason why hot chicks have been excluding themselves from the gamer demographic for so long is because of the public perception that video games are anti social. While us dudes might find that concept one of the more appealing aspects of video games, the same does not fly for hot chicks. Hot chicks, by their very nature, are social. The fastest way for a hot chick to gain validation is to appear in a social situation and appear insanely hot. This is why girls wear hot dresses (it has nothing to do with us, fellas).

Wii Sports and Wii Fit, then, are perfect games to lure in the girls because they're both social and they have the added dubious benefit of being exercise (which hot chicks enjoy). Once they've either mastered or grown tired of both games, it's time for step two: get her Guitar Hero. Yes, I know Guitar Hero for Wii is shitty. Far shittier than its counterparts on other systems. But it will serve as the perfect buffer between your hottie and the purchase of an XBox 360 and/or PS3.

Once your significant(ly hotter) other has realized the limitations of the system, she'll start dropping hints she wants Rock Band and an XBox. Trust me, I'm there now. I actually have to ask my (hot) girlfriend to stop playing video games every so often; when she gets in her zone, there's no stopping that crazy, crazy girl.

Now there are some games that, no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to nor would you want to convincer her she likes. Chief among those games is "World of Warcraft." Hot chicks don't like totally immersive games where you bury yourself into a character; they don't need to escape reality so they choose not to. Also, any game that requires you give it more attention than your girlfriend HAS to be bad for your relationship.

Be careful and game in caution.

Comic Books and graphic novels (especially) have gained much prominence in the last 10 years. What started out as mere colored ink on pulp is now an industry that pumps out awesome stories and new and ever exciting properties by the week.

A suitable bridge for hot chicks to get into comics is the work of James Kochalka. James does these autobiographical anthologies where he documents his somewhat mundane life and, as luck would have it, depicts himself as an elf. For anyone who hasn't seen his work, it sounds pretty, well, gay. And it sort of is, but at the same time it's pretty funny and, more importantly, thanks to the cutesy drawing style, the kind of stuff your hot girlfriend will like (she'd been in good company; Frank Miller likes Kochalka's stuff as well).

After she's checked out Kochalka, you can slowly introduce her to Brian K. Vaughn. The easiest "in" at this point would be "Runaways." Even though it's an awesomely written and drawn comic that's both hilarious and action packed, "Runaways" still remains, in its core, what it was commissioned as: a comic for girls.

From "Runaways," you can quickly and painlessly move on to more Vaughn stuff (especially the girl-friendly "Y: The Last Man"). You can also easily move her onto some manga (if that's your scene).

Go slowly moving into straight super hero stuff, though. Just because she digs the skrull in "Runaways" doesn't mean she'll want to read every back issue of John Byrne's run on "Fantastic 4."

Here's a toughie. There's no true bridge from a hot chick to science fiction. The work of Richard Kelly and Joss Whedon is probably the closest we've got and "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" and "Donnie Darko" both seem like perfect bridges on the surface level. But both examples are, upon deeper inspection, far too nerdy for a simple dabbler.

There's something off putting about science fiction to hot chicks. I haven't quite put my finger on it, but I think it has something to do with the fact that, in sci fi, any truly hot chick is either an alien or a member of the Borg.

Future filmmakers out there, there's an opening: make the sci fi equivalent to "Kill Bill" and you will be a hero to millions of geeks everywhere. Good luck with that.

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